I'm SO TIRED.

I've been back from Leeds for two days and I still feel like I'm falling asleep at every moment. It was amazing though. Even the last night, when people were burning things right next to our tent. Everyone was freaking out about that, with good reason I suppose. I wasn't afraid for myself, seeing as I was pretty sure I wouldn't get hurt as long as I didn't get too close, but I didn't want my stuff to burn. I quite like my stuff. Unfortunately, not everything was saved.

That's right guys,

Trevor is gone.

Forever. I actually can't believe it. I've had him round my neck for THREE YEARS and he's GONE. I feel like crying right now. And I know, he was just a little man who I wore round my neck but he WASN'T JUST THAT. He was a present within one of the sweetest letters I've ever received. I once ran into the middle of the road to get his LEGS. That's how much he meant to me. And he's gone.
To be honest, I think I handled it pretty well. Normally, I would have cried and screamed at everyone to find him RIGHT NOW, but I figured, what with Megan and Claire and that poor poor Ellie freaking out about having their faces burnt off, there were more important things. I figured that maybe Trevor was old, maybe I'd been taking care of him for just long enough. Maybe it was time for him to find his Great Perhaps. So please, I urge you all to mourn with me, for a life lost, for a bond broken, and for a tiny little Polly Pocket doll that meant the world to me.

FAREWELL, TREVOR.

I love you.

So Levi, yeah, I also lost my wedding ring sweetie. I'll need a new one of those. And if anyone has any Polly Pocket things- I'm looking to adopt another, so any number of them would be helpful.

I had a driving lesson today. It was SO bad. I wasn't focused on anything and I got sooooo stressed. I went home and threw stuff around my room for a while to calm down. I've been doing that a lot lately. I think I'm getting angrier. But I have only had three lessons, and I should understand I'm not just going to be able to do it perfectly straight away.But last week's lesson was so gooooood, and I could do it so much better then. I might write a few things down to revise from each week.

Jesus, I sound like Sarah. XD LOVE YOU REALLY, DARLING.

"I'm off to seek my Great Perhaps"- Francois Rabelais

OH, IT'S BEEN TOO LONG...

Truly, it has. I've missed blogging more than can be healthy, but I'M BACK, BABY, and hopefully here to stay, depending on how certain computers decide to behave. I had to make a whole new account, which is kind of (VERY) annoying, but I can deal with that. All it means is that I have to find Sarah and Rob and LBR and everyone again.

It seems like a rather stupid day to begin a blog, seeing as I'm going to Leeds festival for four days tomorrow, so there will be a gap between posts, but I felt the need to at least get it up, so that I know it's there and I won't keep putting it off. Hopefully, I can keep a nice thread of blogging up- I'm trying to get as much writing in as possible, because I'm so afraid I'll never be good enough.

I finished re-reading the Book Thief today, by Markus Zusak. I cried. A lot. It's one of the most beautifully written books I've ever read, and if you knew me then you would know that getting me to cry at a book is one mean feat. I don't normally cry at books. As my sister likes to tell me, I'm cold and unfeeling. Indurate. I learnt that word yesterday. I like it. Indurate.
Anyway, the Book Thief. I loved it. And I would recommend it to you. It's so good it hurts. It's got everything- history, humour, love, sadness. So much bloody sadness. But the good kind. The kind that makes you want to start reading it again as soon as you finish. I wish I could write like that.

One day, maybe...HOPEFULLY. I want to make some kid cry somewhere. I don't need for my books to be bestsellers, I just want to make kids cry.

How good of me =D

I think I should round this off now. I think my tea is nearly ready- at least, it smells good. I figure food is ready when it starts to smell good. Perhaps that's why I'm such an awful cook. Who knows.

Leeds festival tomorrow. Brand New, Smashing Pumpkins, the Bronx. Megs, Cat, Laura, Minty. God, that could get awkard. I'm hoping everything will go ok, and I won't have forgotten something important, like my left hand. That's even more important for me than most people, seeing as I'm left handed. Sign of the devil apparently, so my manager tells me.

Yep, dinner is ready. And about time. I think I can feel my stomach start to eat itself. Never a good sign.

Until I type again.

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"I am haunted by humans." From The Book Thief by Markus Zusak